#74 Chitchat
this was supposed to be a poem
long time no see, there’s 358 of you now.
this was supposed to be a poem, it became something else but it is an appreciation post for my friends and my family.
ps. i got married.
how much sugar do you take in your tea?
one mum, two mums. one dad, two dads. two sisters, six sisters. one brother, three brothers. one love, one love.
we meet up over green drinks, hot drinks, food that gets cold too quickly, desi breakfast or in the damp, rainy seats of a car. i ask my friends to rate what day of my wedding week they liked the most and my eyes flash with excitement, blinking rapidly, watching them think out loud with er’s and urm’s. mehndi was fun, but so was… i would love to relive all of those memories, take me back in time and give me the middle seat of the cinema. my friends make me emotional when i think about them and perhaps this is a little salute, a love letter, a token of appreciation, a squeeze to every single one of them for carrying me, helping me, loving me but most especially showing me what friends are for.
a palette of green, blue, lilac, grey flickers behind my eyes. it’s special knowing this newsletter will go to most of their emails. the highlights of my wedding week included them, whether they were in the centre of the memory or somewhere fluttering behind. all of the love built up over the years expanded and broke into gushing waves through making me a cup of tea or “let me get that for you” or “let’s fix your hair” and spinning together a mocktail.
and what about the grip pins in my hair, always ready to fall into my friend’s hands. lip pencil at the ready. my sister made my childhood friend cry. “let me get us matcha” and “i will try to cut the cake for you.” hugging my sister at the corner of the homely, makeshift stage where the fairy lights didn’t work no matter how hard we tried. words of advice in a tent full of twenty or so conversations. crumbles of magic and laughter, carried from high school sealed into envelopes and little aero desserts. my friend’s face in front of me, like a mirror showing me a different nose and eyes but somehow, so similar. her face everyday, fingers pointed together to perfect an inked wing and curl my long eyelashes.
showing up early, staying late. everyone departing one by one until i was the one to depart whilst they all watched, waving their hands. no one cried but everyone knew everything had changed. everyone hugging my mum goodbye and meaning it when they say “auntie, look after yourself. let us know if you need anything.” writing messages over pieces of paper i have yet to read. singing and for once, not caring what the hell other people think! why would we care? everyone there were people i cared most about in the world and they were showing up for me, in their beaded gems, clutches, gentle smiles of cheers and hopefulness. “you have to feed each other the cake!”
so much hope in just a week and god, maybe i have done well in this life because i have my friends and the first word i think of when it comes to them is family. six sisters and counting. i’d relive my wedding week to be with you all again.
oh so you WANT us to cry huh 😭🥲💕