#67 Chitchat

bye 2024!

Jan 06, 2025

hey lovely subscribers,

i am so sick of writing about 2024, i want to delve right into 2025 and start the new life this year is going to bring me but i can’t move on from 2024 yet… not officially, not until i write about the whirlwind of a year in a newsletter. what else is substack for? what is the whole point of being a writer if you don’t reflect on the year and the mess and beauty it gave you?

how was your 2024? what are your new year resolutions?

2024 in pictures:

JANUARY: “how do i want to live the rest of my life?” audre lorde

i don’t exactly remember any details of any month from last year but these pictures will help me to remember, why else do we take pictures? and videos? to remember. see, i remember the hot soup of the ramen and the kind waiter who asked my friend and i to leave him a review on google. we didn’t but maybe next time. i remember the tarot reading my friend gave me, i was wearing my red, flannel, christmas pjs and i remember nodding. i remember agreeing.

FEBRUARY: “i am paying attention to small beauties, whatever i have” sharon olds

i remember february feeling a lot like january, it was miserable and grey. my friend and i completed a craft stall, we didn’t make a lot of money but at least we could say we had done it! sometimes, i forget i have an etsy shop and every time i remember, i think… shit, well done you. i remember watching one of my favourite movies for the first time: of an age. i remember watching the characters fall in love on screen and it meaning something tragic.

MARCH: “maybe in a year i could write something” sharon olds

i met my cousin’s husband in march and he was kind, he was perfect for her. it’s nice meeting men that help to change my perspective and that not all men are scary, aggressive and taunting. he paid for my tea with two sugars. i became a spiderman girl, thanks to my sister and the days started ending later. i took fortune cookies too seriously and i relied on signs too much. i remember thinking and feeling: yes i’ve met the one and i was so wrong.

APRIL: “do you exist? have i made you up?” virginia woolfe

april was the month i tried soup dumplings for the first time and loving them, they were so good. i would go to the same restaurant just to eat them. that was a good night, i remember breaking my fast with my best friend. i remember seeing my friends who moved away again, i always feel so loved and protected after seeing them. i wish they lived closer, they do now.

MAY: “grief is a circular staircase” linda pastan

i remember you may. i remember the grief. i lost a lot of things this month, i remember thinking: this is not a great year for me. but i went to the lakes, i cried silently on the drive home from watching challengers for the first time. my best friend and i found a lot of beautiful spots and we listened to a lot of taylor swift. i spent four hours on the train with someone who is a motherly figure to me, we laughed like old friends. i remember the good, special memories despite losing job opportunities, losing a friend.

JUNE: “love and a cough cannot be concealed” anne sexton

hey june, thanks for letting me wear outfits without a coat. i remember laughing a lot this month, i don’t know. maybe i’m wrong.

JULY: “memory blurs, that’s the point” georgia o’keeffe

i remember walking in july, the days ended hours after four o clock and i was so prepared for summer. sometimes, the beginning of a year is simple: i am just waiting for summer and summer is just waiting for me. i had impulsive saturdays, walking in the sunshine, following the sunset, following the pink hues of the sky, thrifting and buying breakfast.

AUGUST: “i’ve been looking at everyone like i love them” chen chen

august, i loved you. i will love you again next year, maybe more. i remember watching the most beautiful sunset and tearing up. i remember making a flask of tea, leaving the tea bag inside, letting the water simmer. i remember losing bracelet beads and watching the trees past the bus windows. i remember meeting permanence, finally finding what i had been searching for my whole life and trying to deny the fact that yes, i was utterly screwed but ready.

SEPTEMBER: “we can go forward” richard siken

september was all about changing. i remember making a big decision, i remember it feeling right. i tried good food, i was around good people. 2024 was all about those two things: good food and good people. what else matters?

OCTOBER: “the first poem i wrote that wasn’t about you was still about you” caitlyn siehl

i cried during a bridgerton, candlelight concert. i felt myself being missed and let me tell you something, it’s one of the greatest feelings in the world. yes, i miss you and i don’t know what to do with it. i remember shopping with people who were once strangers, i remember remembering my favourite movies and i remember shifting into planner mode.

NOVEMBER: “and in everything i see, i see him” a little life

november was dark but not cold enough just yet. i tried to watch a lot of movies but what i remember is the normalcy, i remember thinking: this is my new normal. i never questioned, denied it because it was the new kind of normal i had needed more than anything.